Make horrid scars and gashes.


Eric Weber "Picking Up Girls Made Easy" (Symphony Press, 1975)

Records advertised in the pages of comics and magazines really seemed to be endowed with magical powers to me when I was young; order these things and you could learn hypnosis, master kung-fu, or conjure up a haunted house simply by dropping the needle down. Why the hell weren't these records sold in stores? Well for me one of the most provocative mail-order record ads ads ran regularly in the National Lampoons I had scored from my older brother, and it promised a lot:

Click to Expand.

Narrated by 1970's Pick-Up guru Eric Weber and based on his "best selling" books, I suppose I assumed that this record was going to be my secret weapon when it came to approaching my 5th grade classmates on the playground at recess. Just wait 'til I threw down one of those "attention-getting opening lines" -- how could I fail? I just had to figure out how to get the record into my hands without anyone else knowing. Well it took a few more years to accomplish that goal than I'd counted on, but hopefully my patience can translate to your gain. A mere 31 years after it was pressed I'm giving you the complete 40 minute album broken down into 8 handy scenes; from the library to the ballet you're really going to score now. Hey, I even included a copy of the full page ad as well as the front and back LP cover scans in the zip file. That's how badly I want you to succeed.

From the liners:

PICKING UP GIRLS MADE EASY will teach you a whole new system for picking up girls -- a system that is so complete and so absolutely foolproof you'll soon be picking up girls automaticallly!!! Absolutely everything is spelled out for you... Picking up girls can be as easy as opening a beer! And the more you listen to the album, the better you'll get. It's INCREDIBLE!"

And by the way, Mr Weber is still in print.

Link Removed


Blogger Dr.Terror said...

Ahh, just the thing every ghoul needs to get victems back to the lair.

This should be an interesting listen.

4/06/2006 12:17 PM

Blogger PopCereal said...

Jason, this is fantastic! I've seen these records sold in a hundred mags, but never ever heard one up close and in person.

The descriptions of the kinda gals you can get with these techniques are great, but the killer is that the ad refers to them as "victims." Nice.

Mr. Miller

4/06/2006 2:38 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! i never thought I'd hear this but used to see the ads in my dad's penthouses all the time. really hilarious stuff here man, thanks again. great posts as always.

4/06/2006 4:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not sure what use I'd get out of this one being happily married, but it will be good for a listen I'm sure. Thanks again jason.


4/06/2006 4:46 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you! This is almost as scary as your regular halloween-themed posts! Keep 'em coming!

4/06/2006 5:19 PM

Blogger BenT said...

Cool! Have You Ever heard
"How To Pick Up Girls!" by The Apes Of God?

It's a CD I found in a used clearance bin a few years ago, made in 2000.

It's a dub project where an audio reading of the book "The Hundred best Opening Lines" is mixed over a stereo test record called "A new Approach to Ear Training for Jazz Musicians" really weird stuff.

4/06/2006 7:52 PM

Blogger JBG said...

Thanks for this.

4/07/2006 6:47 AM

Blogger Unknown said...

When I was in college, my roommate found a copy of Weber's "How To Pick Up Girls" book at a garage sale, and we used to read it aloud for laughs at parties (usually while drunk). The "guarenteed pick up lines" were especially great -- "Race you to the raft!" was one of my faves. So stupid, so hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

4/23/2006 10:27 AM

Blogger brainwerk said...

Taking notes... I'll tell you if they work.

5/03/2006 3:36 PM

Blogger Unknown said...

here a live link

5/06/2006 12:58 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the BEST...I especially like all the talk about "water sports" in the singles bar: "I ESPECIALLY like watersports you can play in a bubble bath!"

The only tip Eric Weber forgets to give is when to slip her the roofie...

7/23/2006 10:14 AM

Blogger unknown said...

Dude, I just picked up some chickies with this records help......thanks!

7/28/2006 8:00 PM

Blogger Fog said...

genius! ;-)

10/04/2006 5:37 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should check out Real Social Dynamics for a more modern and useful system. I found it on another blog that focuses on how to pick up girls - there's some really great stuff in both resources

10/31/2007 8:01 AM

Blogger The Fiji Mermaid said...

ha ha ha... this is totally crazy. I can't believe this was actually made and sold.

11/03/2007 10:02 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember the 70's. Those lines actually worked. Picking up chicks was as easy as clubbing baby seals over the head. There was no challange in it at all. You guys have it so lucky these days.

3/04/2008 10:20 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, Jason;
I have actually read and was greatly influenced by Mr Weber's work. Frankly, it helped me quite a lot because it gave me SOME modicum of direction, and, therefor, confidence.
However, it really should have been called "How to pick up a 7 or lower". These methods are not as effective on high-value women. Have a great day!

8/30/2008 2:37 PM

Blogger END OF THE LIGHT said...

your blog is terrific, but i cannot find the "follow this" button...
thanks again for all the good you're doing to us!

12/07/2008 2:45 AM

Anonymous Jan said...

Hey guys, anyone has the torrent or link for the whole ebook Eric Weber - How to Pick Up Girls? If you have it on your harddrive, please send it to me: Thanks a lot!

4/27/2009 9:16 AM

Blogger jokerrabit said...

I have everything about seduction but I don't seem to have this can you please re post this?

9/23/2009 3:27 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eric Weber - How to Pick Up Girls - OCR

A Blast from the past, the Originator, The one that started it all, the godfather of seduction.

Before Mystery, before Style, before Ross Jeffries.

Retrieved using my very own Hot Tub Time Machine:

Can you dig it?!

5/10/2010 7:52 PM

Blogger Unknown said...

Hey those anybody know where I can a copy of the original booklet.

7/24/2010 2:59 PM


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